just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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