Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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