The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
