Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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