She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
