Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize