my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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