just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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