you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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