You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
