It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
