Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
