smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
