what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
