why didn't you poke me back
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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