Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
