if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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