I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
