She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize