The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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