I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Found the puke drawer
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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