cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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