But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
