You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think I just sharted jello shots
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