Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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