yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
