On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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