when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
