trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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