2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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