omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
