I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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