You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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