Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the š®like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
