the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
