Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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