Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
