would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize