did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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