I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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