Pappa wants mamma naked
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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