Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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