Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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