Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize