i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
