I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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