Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
