Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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