the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize