The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
