WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
