It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
