I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
