So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
