Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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