well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
