I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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