I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
