just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize