you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
