ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
