Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
