i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
