at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
