a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
