Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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