what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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