fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
