areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize