Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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