i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
